There are a lot of different views about Halloween out there. Some families like to go all out and decorate their whole house and yard; others might prefer to skip it altogether. No matter what your family chooses to do, there is a lot of talk and advertising about Halloween all around from early September until the end of October.
And some of it can be quite scary for young children who don’t always see the line between imaginary and real. They are still developing that skill. So even though adults know that the Frankenstein display in the store is not going to come to life and chase them, children might not be so sure of that.
There are a few things that you can do to make things easier for young children, children with anxieties, and children who, for many reasons including neurodiversity, may not always be able to tell the difference between real and pretend.
- Talk about and demonstrate the difference between real and imaginary. This could look like you putting on a silly hat or wig and showing your child that even if you look different, you are still you; you don’t change into someone else. You can also point to potentially scary things in stores or in yards around your neighborhood and say things like “That monster is not real. It is just made of cloth and filled with air.” Or go by neighborhood Halloween displays during the day and show kids how air-filled decorations deflate and can’t move.
- Acknowledge that young children can be frightened by things that don’t seem scary to older kids or adults. Telling children that something isn’t scary does not make it less terrifying to them. Even very happy looking clowns or people dressed up like bunnies can be frightening when kids aren’t sure if they are real or pretend. So instead of telling your child not to be scared by that person dressed up as a happy elf, you could say “I know that that person might seem scary but it is a real person just dressing up to look like an elf”. Respect your child’s fears and allow them to move away from or avoid things that they find frightening.
- Practice Halloween-ing. Just like any other skill that you want to teach your child, trick-or-treating and having fun on Halloween might take some practice. Have “dress rehearsals” for Halloween when your child dresses in their costume and pretends to knock on doors and say “trick or treat”. This is also a good time to go over the safety rules for trick or treating, like holding hands and waiting for an adult before they cross the street. You can also read books about Halloween that are not scary. Remember that for some children, walking up to a stranger’s door and asking for candy might just be too much; having a plan to walk up to the door with your child or to trick or treat only at the houses of friends and family members might be more comfortable for some children.
If your family celebrates Halloween, have fun! And remember that your child might need a little extra practice or support. With your help, they can join in the family fun and have a great Halloween.
